It’d be a sin to eat Oscar, the world’s smartest chicken

There used to be a lot of sheep in this country. Much to the consternation of more than a few cowboys, it was actually the sheep that made the big ranches. One ol’ boy told me that the cattle business was sort of a luxury, and a fella has to run sheep until he can get money enough ahead to trade himself into a herd of cows.

Maybe he was right, but then there’s the other well-healed big operator that started right out in the cattle business. The old boy sure didn’t look the part, though. He wore old brogan clod-hopper shoes tied up with binder twine, and raggedy old clothes that would make a sheepherder look like a fashion statement from Madison Avenue. The old guy looked for all the world like a bum that had just fallen off a freight train.
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Someone asked him once why he dressed like that, with as big an operation as he had.

“Well,” was his reply, “ever’ time I got money enough ahead to dress like a cowboy, I just decided to buy out another homesteader instead.”

Everyone has their priorities, I guess.

It takes a special sort of a guy to herd sheep. The work is pretty lonesome. It’s just one old boy and his dogs out in the middle of no place with a band of sheep to keep on good grass and water. The guys would be all alone for weeks on end with no one to talk to except the critters around them. Of course keeping the coyotes and other predators from packin’ the lambs off was pretty much a full-time job.

Coyotes are a piece of cake compared to what some guys had to deal with. One old herder up in the Dupuyer country used to nail the grizzly ears to the side of the wagon box so he could keep score, and he’d get quite a collection by the end of the season.

Marvin DePriest was herdin’ sheep for Bud Gordon years ago, and on one of Bud’s trips to the north range to re-supply the herders, Marvin was lettin’ the boss know how sick he was getting of the groceries. With no refrigeration in his wagon, the cuisine was pretty limited.

“Boy, what I wouldn’t give for a good fried chicken dinner,” Marvin commented, with his mouth watering at the very thought. “I’m sure gettin’ sick of soda crackers and mutton.”

Bud was a good ol’ boy and certainly wanted to keep his herders happy if he could, so he promised to bring Marvin up a young rooster the next time he came around with groceries.

A couple of weeks later, Bud showed back up at Marvin’s camp with another load of groceries, and sure as the world, he had a good young rooster in a crate in the back of the pickup, just like he’d promised. Marvin was elated. He could hardly wait.

As soon as Bud’s dust had settled on his trip back to headquarters, Marvin started in unraveling an old gunny sack to make a little string to tie his rooster up. He fastened the string around one of the rooster’s hind legs and tied him up to the spoke on the wagon wheel with 20 or 30 feet of slack, so he could scratch around out there on the prairie.

Exactly why he didn’t eat that rooster the day he got him remains a mystery. Maybe the idea was to fatten him up a little more, I don’t know. Well, the plan sort of backfired. Being lonesome like he was, Marvin got kind of attached to his new feathery friend. He even named him Oscar.

Now, chickens aren’t really known for their great intellect. I think they’ve got a brain about the size of a pea, and most of them are dumber than a sack of hammers, but Oscar was different. He was one smart rooster. Whenever a chicken hawk would come close, Ol’ Oscar would beat feet under the wagon and crawl up on the reach (that’s the long pole that holds the two axles together). He spent the nights roosting up there under the wagon, too. No critters were ever going to get him where he was hiding. Not with this super hiding place and Marvin’s dogs laying right there close.

As time went on, Marvin and Oscar became fast friends, with the sheepherder becoming more impressed by the day with how that chicken could effortlessly evade the hawks, owls, and coyotes that would have loved to have him for lunch. The two developed a unique relationship, not often seen between man and bird. Some say the two even carried on philosophical discussions concerning economics and politics, but I really find that a little hard to believe.

Be that as it may, Marvin just couldn’t bring himself to eat Oscar. A fella just can’t chop the head off his friend and then eat him for dinner. Marvin made up his mind to send him back with Bud the next time he came up with groceries.

A couple of weeks went by, and here came Bud again; surprised to see that rooster still tied with 30 feet of string to the wagon wheel. He asked Marvin why he hadn’t eaten him yet.

“Oh, I can’t eat him. That’s the smartest rooster I’ve ever seen,” the herder explained. He went into great detail about how Oscar watched the sky and dashed under the wagon at the very sight of a hawk. “You just need to haul him back to the ranch and throw him in the chicken coop where you got him.”

“I can’t do that,” Bud explained. “The other roosters will kill him, now. He’s been gone for over a month, and a strange rooster in the coop will cause the biggest fight you ever saw. I’m afraid they’ll kill ’im, Marvin.”

Marvin just stood there in silence for a moment as he mulled all this over in his head. “I don’t think so,” he finally answered. “That’s one smart rooster, and I can’t bear to eat him, so just take him on back home with you. Movin’ the wagon with a rooster tied to it ain’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I’m afraid I’ll run over him, an’ that’d be a real waste. Jus’ take him back home and turn him loose.”

Bud could see that Marvin’s mind was made up. He was pretty sure of what would happen when he threw that young rooster back in the coop, but he crated him up and hauled him back to the ranch anyway.

Sure enough, Bud had barely turned his back from releasing Oscar back into the chicken coop, when the awfullest chicken fight you ever saw broke out. It was a real dog pile with feathers flying everyplace as every rooster in the coop piled on top of the stranger.

Bud just shook his head. “I knew that was going to happen,” he said to himself. “Marvin should have fried that rooster when he had the chance.”

The chicken squawkin’ continued for several minutes as Bud did a few evening chores around the place. In fact, the ruckus was sill going on when he stuck his head back in the door to see what was left of Marvin’s fine feathered friend.

The fight was still going strong, but much to Bud’s surprise, there over in the corner on the top rung of the roost sat Oscar; a smug look of victory on his beak. Somehow he’d managed to sneak out from under the bottom of that pile of fighting roosters, and was content as could be to sit out the rest of the scrap ... safe and sound on his high, safe vantage point.

Oscar was one smart rooster. What his ultimate fate was, I never did hear. All I know for sure is that I agree with Marvin. It’d be a sin to eat a chicken that was that smart.

Festival shows there’s an appetite for local food

Don’t know how to spend your summer vacation? Let your appetite be your guide.

Guelph Wellington Local Food — an initiative of the Guelph Community Health Centre — is tapping into the culinary tourism trend with its taste•real brand, which was officially launched at the Guelph Wellington Local Food Fest, held Sunday at the Ignatius Jesuit Centre.

“Agriculture is part of our history and heritage and we need to showcase it more,” said Gayl Creutzberg, outreach co-ordinator for taste•real. “There are lots of reasons to come to the region. Great food, locally grown and carefully prepared, is one more.”

The initiative begins with the local food map of member-organizations — everything from farms that are open to the public, pick-your-own places, restaurants and B&Bs that feature locally sourced food, farmers’ markets, greenhouses, and retailers.

Taste•real has linked with Guelph fab 5, a marketing partnership of Guelph’s well-loved festivals: the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, Hillside Festival, the Guelph Jazz Festival, Eden Mills Writers’ Festival, and the Festival of Moving Media.

Creutzberg said she hopes visitors who are coming for a festival will check out taste•real restaurants and destinations while in the area. Conversely, she hopes those who come following the culinary trail will check out the festivals and other attractions that make Guelph and Wellington unique.

“It’s farms, it’s restaurants, greenhouses, kitchen stores, hotels and B&Bs (bed and breakfasts),” she said. “There’s been a real coming together over this.”

Sunday’s local food festival was testament to that.

Tours of the Ignatius Centre showed food in the field — the outcome of many private and community projects that happen on the expansive property.

A walk through the marketplace featured booth after booth of produce grown at local farms and food-related products sold at local businesses.

And then there were the local restaurants, cooking up delicious, locally sourced food for visitors to sample.

“I care about locally grown, yes, especially since having kids,” said Shannon Noble of Guelph, who attended the event for the first time with her husband and two small children. “We try to eat local, organic food. It’s nice to come to this and find out what’s in the area.”

There were cooking demonstrations and even one on pickling and making jam. There were workshops on agriculture-related topics, such as how to keep a backyard chicken coop, or how to become a hobby beekeeper.

Some 1,800 people were expected to attend.

Maureen Comartin, of Windsor, was visiting family in Guelph and they all went to the food festival.

“We buy local in Essex County and my daughter buys local in Guelph. I think it’s a smart idea,” she said. “It’s certainly a wonderful atmosphere at the Ignatius Centre.”

Batavia family first to get approval of backyard chicken operation

Batavia’s first family of backyard egg-laying hens has passed inspection with flying colors.

“I am all for living sustainably,” Holly Kammes said Wednesday, as she whisked a couple of fresh eggs for her breakfast.

Kammes and her family managed to raise a variety of breeds, including Barred Rocks and the rare blue egg-laying Araucana, in their southwest side backyard with little attention.

Kammes’ chickens are the first flock to get the seal of approval by the city building department, after aldermen last month voted 9 to 5 — after considerable debate — to allow residents to keep up to eight hens on properties zoned and occupied for single family residential. The amendments to city code require owners to register prior to acquiring chickens, but registration forms are not accepted until the coop has passed final inspection by a city building inspector.

City Building Commissioner Jeff Albertson, said Kammes’ chickens were the city’s first inspection, while others are in the process of seeking approval. Kammes’ chickens were also among the few that had 30 days to bring their property into compliance.

“They passed the inspection,” Albertson said Tuesday. “We never thought there would be a huge rash of people. We knew there would be some.”

Albertson said the building department has received two applications for a chicken coop permit.

“The hens are a great way for my boys to learn about sustainability and doing chores,” Kammes said. “I have wonderful neighbors; my neighbor closest to the coop actually comes out and greets them with ‘Good morning girls!’ My other neighbor said she doesn’t hear them too often but when she does it reminds her of childhood. All my neighbors enjoy the eggs.

“There is some knowledge owners need to acquire, but raising hens is easier than raising the family dog; they can be trained and make wonderful family pets,” said Kammes, whose family has lived in Batavia for four generations.

Kammes, an organic vegetable gardener, discovered chicken droppings were as “precious” for adding nutrients to her garden soil as fresh eggs are for her family.

Kammes will share her knowledge as a chicken keeper and gardener from 5 to 8 p.m. Friday during the fourth annual Batavia MainStreet Green Walk, held along Wilson Street in the downtown, to raise awareness of the art of going green.